I’m Being Stalked!
If I were in the states, I would already be at the police station. There is a woman here in town that I met online several years ago in a video chat room. I know her name but I’m not going to say it. Mostly I don’t want her to 
do a search and then find her name on my site. Also, I don’t want to insult a Filipino or say something that could be interpreted as an insult. She may already know this site but I doubt it or she could spell my name correctly.
When I found out she was in the same city I live in, I had a sick feeling. I just happened to move 12,000 miles and end up in the same city she is in. When we met online she thought I was going to be her man. I never told her that. She just assumed it. When that didn’t work out she befriended my soon to be X-wife. I had some interest in her at one point but quickly discovered she was too controlling for she and I ever to work out.
I had hoped I could befriend her but I don’t think its possible.
One night I was on my way to the BBQ by the Bay with Jessie and Jessie’s friend Jean. We saw this girl pass us on her motor scooter. A few minutes after we sat down at our table, she came to the same location and got a table behind us.
She walked past me three times without even looking at me. On the fourth pass I said Hi and she responded as if surprised I was there. This girl doesn’t appear to realize how obvious it is on what she’s doing.
The next day she wrote to Lisa, a friend of Jean’s and asked if she, Lisa was my girlfriend. The next day the stalker wrote to Lisa again saying I should break up with Jean! Once I heard all this I was pretty sure I knew who it was.
I also have had someone IM me from that same video chat site saying that they were going to have me thrown out of the country for insulting Filipina and that “we were conducting an investigation.” When she said, “mark my words you wont be in the country for long” I should have known who it was. That’s the control I was talking about. “Mark my words” is how this Filipina behaves.
I then sent a text message to the suspected stalker as a secret admirer, Calling her by her first name and she replied. She wanted to know if I “was a boy in town” and how I got her number. This confirmed that I had the right person. It was the same number that had been contacting Lisa.
The next day Lisa and myself got messages from the stalker saying she was me! That had me alarmed as to what she might tell others but now I think she’s just trying to figure out who I am. She may suspect the secret admirer was me. She’s got this one major flaw in her plan, she’s spelling my name wrong.
Its really a shame, I would have enjoyed adding her to my friends but now I’m just afraid of her. I’m afraid of what physical harm she may do to me or try to. Her state of mind doesn’t seem that stable to me, If she doesn’t pull back, I will go to the police to tell them what is going on. I’m mostly worried about what she will say to others while pretending to be me.
I met a police chief of a nearby town the other day, if the problems continue, I will ask if he will talk to someone here on my behalf. There are a couple of other people I could ask.
I tried once more to make friends with this girl. I sent her several messages, identifying who I was and that I would like to be friends with her and take her too the BBQ with Jessie and myself. I sent the message to both of her numbers several times and called her number to make sure the numbers were active. Something commonly done here in the Philippines to prevent wasting of credits by sending messages to a phone that has been shut off.
She ignored all of my messages so I finally sent her a message telling her I was aware of what she was doing, pretending to be me and using my name. Basically to harass me. I didn’t mention what I would do if she didn’t stop. I just asked her to stop.
I have a good life here and I know I try to be respectful, very much so, Bend over backwards to be respectful to every Filipino and always conscious that I’m a visitor here. Something she reminded me of in IM’s. I don’t visit that chat site any more so that wont be an issue again.
It is alarming to know this is going on. Probably the best thing for me to do is move. I’ve been talking to residents here though and they tell me don’t worry about it that no one will take her seriously because of some of her past antics. I hope she’s right, one thing I’m certain of, she’s stalking me.
Insulting a Filipino can get someone tossed out of the country. I hope that Philippine immigration will require some proof. The only thing I’ve done to this girl is choose someone else. She threatened me before I ever got here.
This behavior is atypical of the Philippines. Filipino are very gracious people. Jessie tells me often that many envy me but they never show it. They are open and warm and welcoming. She is an exception.
Tagged with: Filipino
Filed under: Cebu Experience
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Sorry Mike, its not paranoia coz its really happening. I met the girl. And we asked around, and the people we talked to said she’s capable of doing it.
Yeah, but she won’t try and physically harm Rus, surely? not unless someone urges her to do so. And seeing she’s not really the “sharpest tool in the shed”, she might very well do it. I hope she realizes that even if her father is a cop, he is not a senior officer, and not even in the area.
Sorry to hear that you’re being stalked. Maybe if the Bogo Police can have a stern word with her? Sounds like she’s got problems that qualifies our criterias for locking up a person against their will, Involuntary Assessment Orders, that is.
Even if I could do that, I wouldn’t. this is not the place to do such things like that. At least I wouldn’t seek to have her confined, i would even oppose it as there coule likely be retalition toward me.
I think she is dangerous.
I have asked her to stop, perhaps that will be enough. She’s going to hate that I figured out what she was doing. Don’t know how she’s going to react to that. my friends that she was messaging told her all kinds of crazy things. I’m suspect that she played a role in another friend of mine suddenly pulling away. NOthing about that situation made any sense.
If she continues, I will go to the police but I need another Filipino to assist me with it. Oh and her father is either a police man here in the city or a retired police man.
If I could move to Bagiou, I probably would. This city may be more dangerous for me than Sulu. :) Just me though and that’s a bit of a hyperoble, I hope.
Remember, one of her alter ego’s contacted me and told me that it was her intent to have me thrown out of the country.
I think you might have hurt her pride, Rus. If you can weather this out till she finds a new centre of attention, you should be OK. I doubt immigration will deport a Kano on someone’s say so. Baguio will be beneficial for your condition, but you might have to go there minus a GF, I think you said once Jess doesn’t like the cold! :)
Jessie and I talked about Baguio, she knows what the heat does to me. can leave me in the bed for a week. She’ll go. It rains there a lot too though, that kind of sucks! Heavist rain in the country!
Cold, I mean its not gonna snow there. LOL
I’ve been in Bogo for a year now. I rejected her more than 2 years ago. I think it i pretty clear that she’s not going to just go away. i believe she has some mental issues, she’s already held on to this for about three years. She was following me around town six months ago, when I said hello to her she pretended not to know who I was.
I don’t think I’m going to leave but if I do, she will be one of the reasons. Kano’s have been known to have problems when someone accuses them of doing something.
I hope they’ll seek out evidence, if they do, I don’t have a thing to worry about. If I make a mistake, I fear she’ll be right there to pounce on it.
I feel like I’ve handled it the best way I could. I’ve “talked” to her and she’s rejected my offer of friendship. Now I’ve asked her to stop, if she doesn’t I’ll seek help from the proper authorities.
I sent you a long e-mail about this. Read carefully what I’ve written.
I’ve read it once. Its pretty long and a lot of information there.
I think there may be a better way to handle one of your concerns and help some other folks too but I will talk to you in email.
I hope that alleviate your concerns about this woman. It’s not that easy getting deported from PI just because someone accuses you of misconduct. A criminal offence is something else, and you really have got to be stupid to do so, like that German guy I was referring to. Okay, he was probably short-tempered to begin with, but as you always remind visitors in this site “you are not in your own country”.
Yeah, quick tempered is one thing but reacting they way he did is still uncalled for. Threatening people with violence is never okay. I did that once, I didn’t even mean too and it cost me dearly. Luckily I learned my lesson in my early 30′s. We do all make mistakes, usually in the heat of passion\anger when our good sense seems to get up and leave us.
I am much less concerned about this woman’s ability to get me removed from the country. I suspected her accusation alone probably wouldn’t be enough. I’d rather not test the waters. Her motivation is that I’m happy. I think you might underestimate her resolve though. It has already been around three years.
As you suggested in the email, I never allow myself to be alone with a Filipina, even though I have no money for anyone to extort, they may think I do and that’s enough motivation to keep me from allowing that to happen.
Yeah 3 years that you reacted to what she was trying to do.
No I didn’t, I forgot she even existed. When Jessie pointed her out one day, I couldn’t even remember who she was. It took me a few minutes to even recall her. I would have never recognized her. I walked up to say hi and she pretended to not know who I was. No, I’ve not reacted to anything at all. I forgot she even existed.
I was concerned when I found out she lived her, I knew she’d try to make trouble for me becuase she promised me should would long before I ever got here. I THINK she’s contacted me under various other names but I never new for sure and when those people acted strange, I just blocked them too.
No, this girl’s father is not a Policeman, never was. Doug confirmed this. The father is just a hard working businessman. Doug buys his bottled water from him and is apparently a reasonable man.
I’m not sure we are still not communicating heree but maybe not… Lets find out for sure.
Her babies daddy is the owner of St Vincent water, not Her father. Perhaps her father owns another water company? I would like to change our water supplier. Jessie doesn’t smell it but I smell a bad smell in our water if it is left out in a water bottle for a couple of days. That shouldn’t happpen in my mind. Maybe its just different smells than what I’m use too. Saint Vincent appears to uses osmosis filtering and distilled is better.
I’ve had others tell me he is a police officer but perhaps the girl told other people this too.
That this girl would lie, wouldd not be a big surprise. So she may have made it up. since there is a man that owns a water business in her life, I’m wondering if your brother didn’t understand which daddy we were talking about. :)
You mentioned I shouldn’t contact her again. You read me all wrong. One thing I will never ever do is impose myself on someone. I made my intentions clear and she made hers clear. She wont hear from me again. Next contact regarding her will be with the police. Like you said, not to file charges, just to document.
If Mike in Manila hadn’t once had an IP address in New Jersey, I would think he is really the girl. Something else that wouldn’t make sense regarding that is that she has been spelling my name wrong when she pretends to be me.
You’re making assumptions that just are not valid, I have not talked to the girl in three years until the problem here developed or I saw her here and tried to be nice. Let bygones be bygones.
I’ll clarify with Doug who the girls’ father is, might even get names. If the girl’s father is/was a Policeman, Doug would have said so. I did asked if her father was Police and he said no. But I will ask again. I’m pretty sure you mentioned you offered friendship? That meant you communicated in some way? That’s what I meant about you contacting her.
Yeah, I thought that he probably would have said something as well. I know her babies daddy own St. Vincent water though. Just want to make sure not a miscommunication.
Yeah, I contacted her once in the last three years. I have not responded to her antics for the last three years.
She messaged someone againt tonight, saying she was me and wanted to meet her. She spelled my name wrong again. So I guess I need to go to the police. I really really don’t want to do that.
I’m still on night shift, so can’t call Doug till Sunday when I’m off. It’s longer hours (10 hour shift) as opposed to day shift (8hours). It
doesn’t leave me a lot of spare time. I’ll email you once I’ve spoken to him.
Yeah, like I say, work sucks but the money is nice. :)
I asked a girl that grew up with her if she’d ever seen the stalkers dad in uniform and she said she had. Still strange that your bother didn’t mention that. I’ve heard this from other locals as well. Gonna be odd if he is not a police officer.
I’m pretty surprised she’s not found this site. I don’t care if she does but you’d think she’d stop now.
I’ve confirmed he is a Police Officer, and a decent one at that. But he is currently not anywhere near Bogo.
I guess there’s an outside he’s Filipino so I’ll keep my thoughts to myself.
My next step is to contact a lawyer. If the girl goes away then there wont be any need too. if she persist, I will get a lawyer as my life here is extremely important to me.
Mike in Manila, what is your major malfuction? Did your mommie treat you bad or where you just born an ahole?
Has it ever occured to you Rus, he might have a “crush” on you? In the Phil. we have a saying “the more you hate, the more you kuhit”, he, he, ask Jess what that means. :)
Just kidding…..
No need too. This all started when she assumed she and I would be a couple. She kept telling me how she would take care of me, not to worry about my x-wife (still my estranged wife at the time). She and I had ceased being friends long before that but when I booted Mandy out the door she just assumed it would be she and I. I had shown some interest a year before that but since she became extremely demanding, I just said no and she left mad and stopped talking to me which was okay with me. :)
I explained this in the post I think.
I also explained that I sent her a text message after she started texting my friends. I didn’t know who the number belonged too, I was just guessing it was her. In my message though, I called her by name in my text and she was very eager to know if I was a “local boy.”
Though I’m sure the crush has long since passed and now its just hate. I’m sure she wouldn’t ever admit this, even to herself.
This girl has either narcissistic personality disorder or anti-social personal disorder. I’m guessing anti-social but not sure if her social skills are good enough to appear charming as most anti-socials are masters at. She sane but not right.
Rusty, I meant Mike might have a crush on you! :)
Not her! Well she might still have a crush on you too.
This certainly sounds like the old saying “hell hath no fury from a woman scorned”.
Well, maybe regular reporting to the Police for every message received is a good idea. Maybe even tell them that if something happens to you, look in that particular direction.
Oh… if he does he better watch it. His GF might give him a Lorena.
I don’t think she’s in the city right now. I should probably make a report.
Sure he has no ambitions to be your “boy toy”? or was it
“toy boy?”. LOL!