I’ve been thinking, laying in bed about to fall asleep, it hit me. I killed, George. His chain was on the inside of the fence while his body was on the outside. Somehow he did get through the chain link fence. While he did so, somehow his waist band got wrapped in that strange way, making it look like someone did that to him. The stress of being caught like that must have killed him. Why he didn’t call for and bring him back me I don’t know. I don’t understand. I left him in a space that was unsafe and as a result he died.
Someone would have had to take him off his leash and bring him back on the other side of the fence. I don’t know what this is going to do other than make me feel bad. I’d like to be wrong, perhaps the natural human desire to blame someone else has been protecting me.
When I first saw him I thought he had got sick and choked on his own vomit. He had been having spells where he threw up for no apparent reason.. It had stopped for about a week then he had a bad spell. a couple of nights agoI don’t know exactly what happened. but him pulling himself through the chain link makes more sense than someone taking him off his leash and then bringing him back on the other side of th fence. I really don’t want this to be the answer. George’s body felt hot too. He over heated.
All the times I tried to be so careful with him. Telling Jessie, no don’t put him there, he’ll get hot or some other reason. I tried hard to take care of him. I know a wildlife officer. He’d probably tell me this is why we shouldn’t have wild animals as pets. I probably would have protected his life with mine, if I had only known. yesterday I thought I was taking on blame that was mine. Now I think it was my fault. Hey, I hope I’ve just talked myself into this idea. The scene even fooled the police officer.
I really dont want this to be the case. Jessie told me tonight what she misses the most is the look he got on his face just before he attacked, with his play attack. She enjoyed his being mischievous. I miss him coming up to me, giving me monkey kisses and then pushing his head under my arm so he could get under it. Now I’m headed back into denial phase again. He can’t be gone.
I tried so hard to take good care of him. i found almost no information online, I picked up a few things from Animal planet but mostly he taught me. I let him down.
Bestselling Products Marketing Books on Amazon
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Tagged with: George's Death
Filed under: Life • The Philippines
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
You know, this doesn’t make a lot of sense either. He would have called out to us if he was distressed. Why didn’t he? For some reason he couldn’t. If he was hot he would have. I guess I just need to let it go,, He’s gone.
All you can hope for is for a quick death on that one. Like when I ran over a squirl yesterday. Im pretty sure he didnt feel it.
Jessie said even if he did crawl back through the chain link it wouldn’t have killed him. While he was on the other side of the fence the waist band was tied up on this side of the fence. he could have been strangled by someone standing on this side of the fence. I find it hard to let go but I probably wont post any more on this subject unless there are new developments.
I am sorry to hear about what happened. It can be difficult when someone you care about dies.
Rusty , don’t beat yourself to death over this . I still have two very vivid experiences in my subconscious but probably only because i can recall them having taken a major in psychology ( and know how to recall ).
When i was about 4 i gave a kitten a bath and it drowned in the washtub . I killed it !
When i was in my 20′s i experimented with various ” indigenous substances ” known to the american indian . On one of those ” journeys ” i became conscious of a cat purring on my chest and when i opened my eyes all i could see was the kitten i had killed so many years before .
Of course it wasn’t the same animal but i had to learn how to release the guilt . :-)
You need to do the same . :-)
I now think George was poisoned. I don’t know why it took me so long to come to this.
he had something yellow coming out of his mouth. He had food in his cheeks. I saw something there and pushed on his checks to see if it was fluid. It was not fluid. He wouldn’t have cried out for help. As always, I don’t know but this is what I think.
I will get another Monkey when I get the chance. For now, I don’t have the funds.
Hi retired, thanks for your encouragement.
Maybe those pictures don’t show it well. Someone tied George to that fence. Why they would do that, I don’t know but that was not a tangle.
I always blame myself for everything. :) As more time passes, the more I believe that someone killed him. He had just eaten when he died, some of it was still in his cheeks. I should have put that fact together.
I didn’t think George would be with us for long. He was severely hurt at some point. When I first saw him, I thought he had had one of his spells and died.
When I saw the way he was tied to that fence I knew he couldn’t do that. The police came and they knew that couldn’t be an accident. They asked if he could have done it himself and I showed them he didn’t even know he could unhook himself from the chain.
Someone did tie him to that fence.
But thanks….
Peyote? Is that what you had? Dang i wish I had been born 10 years sooner so I could have partook of the love generation, but I don’t know what I would have done about that draft thing. Glad I didn’t have to face it.
I have posted a Tribute to George at http://www.cebuexperiernce.com. There is also a photo album of about 50 pictures I took of him over the four months he was with us.
I don’t know what happened to him. Things just don’t add up but I’ll try to focus on that he was a joy and leave it at that.
hello there rusty:)im just a new member here.. ive almost read your message,and never tired to read them all.. i was really glad when i was informed by my special someone,, that you have a website with regards to your experiences here in cebu. especially in bogo city,.and really feel excited and curious to see ur website…:) but unfortunately we couldnt open ur website that time:)…i guess that was 1 week ago… i felt sad when i knew that i couldnt open it.. and ive always hope that i could able to open ur website someday:)
and i am really happy tonight when i found out that ur website is now okey:)..and i read most of your articles.. i never tired reading of it right now… its really feels me so happy.. and touched with your experiences.. i ddnt expected that someone would have a website like this especially that, that you features your experiences about our place(Bogo City)it is really a great feelings as a bogohanon(people of bogo)that there is someone especially a “foreigner” would appreciate our place.. its just that.. bogo is a small city not so popular compare to the other cities here in philippines:) but inspite of that cute city of ours there is still someone who knows how to appreciate the beauty of our place:)u probably noticed that people in bogo are easily to pleased. and that is how i feel right now…. i am so happy reading all about your articles,, and never got tired of it:)……
if i am just living always at bogo then i would probably noticed u in bogo city… :)since bogo is too small no wonder we could familiarize mostly people ther.. but since that i wont able to visit there usually..its because im studying here in cebu city.. so i ddnt noticed u…:)..u probably noticed that mostly people living in bogo city are known for each other.. and that is one of the aspect why i am very proud of our place..its because of the friendliness of the people there:)hehehehehehehe
Hi Risty!
It is my pleasure to know you. I would like to get to know more people that are from Bogo City so I could learn more about the city.
You might want to look at http://www.cebuexperience.com as I write even more about Cebu and Bogo there.
If you like you can text me next time your in Bogo and maybe my GF and myself can meet you. 0-921-300-2265
You should be proud of Bogo. Bogo is an awesome place. Smaller is not always bad. The people here arer much friendlier and I am able to go where I want and feel safe.
Please tell your friends about my websites. :)