Quitting Smoking

Okay so the Effexor “withdrawal”  has subsided.  I get the occasional “brain zap” but that has subsided.  So I’ve started my

No Smoking
Time To Quit Smoking

latest attempt to quit smoking.  I’m into day three now.   However, yesterday I did some six of them.  Right now I’m having a heck of a time not smoking one.

I got myself a leg massage though, that helped and gives me a little relief to the never ending pain I have in my lower leg muscles.

I  had smelled the smoke of someone else smoking.  I took a shower to make sure it wasn’t from the last one I had last night around 9pm.    It wasn’t, it was strong after my shower and it was calling my on my nicotine starved nerves. :)

I’ve learned to hold on when this happens, it will pass.  Try to find something to fill my mind with.  For me, stopping addiction is a moment to moment thing.  I tell myself, I will smoke again but I just wont do it right now.  As long as I tell myself that every time, then I never smoke again.

Dependence Vs Addiction

I have a new understanding of the difference between the two.   I had some seriously hard days when I had to stop taking Effexor.  I was tense, I couldn’t concentrate, I was emotional.  I really didn’t feel well, I really struggled as my body had become use to those extra chemicals.   Not having a cigarette makes me a little tense at times.  It doesn’t make it so I can’t think, as long as I can hold my obsessing on not smoking at bay.  Hard to think when your obsessing and being tense makes it a little hard.  Its not like Effexor though, where I just can’t hold a thought which made me even more tense with frustration.

The Big Difference is that I never craved Effexor.  I do crave a cigarette though. I’d love to have one.  I want one.  They are good!  haha.  I have no feelings like that toward Effexor.  So for me, that’s the difference in dependence and addiction. However, if I had to choose which one of these I’d rather endure, that’s easy.  Its not contest.  The pain from stopping Effexor, the emotional upheaval that stopping that causes is not something I would ever go through if I felt I had a choice.  I was terrified when I found I would be without it.  I was terrified of how I’d feel, I was terrified how I might react to people.   I think the smoking helped but boy do I crave a smoke.  I do not crave Effexor.

There is another difference. I probably need to take Effexor but since my itching has been nearly eliminated, I’m not going to go back on it.   For now, I’m fine but let the first crisis present itself and I may struggle.  I’ll talk to the doctor about something else instead.  Cigarettes though, I don’t need them, I’m better off without them yet I want one.  Effexor I don’t ever want to take.  There’s no joy in that, no rush, heck it has some side effects I really don’t like.  Smoking has some too, it makes my lungs burn.  It even makes me feel bad when I do it, yet I still want to do it!  Odd.  :)  I will quit, I don’t really have a reasonable choice.

Tagged with: Health • Medication • Mental Health • Quitting Smoking

Filed under: Featured Articles • Health

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